All my life i have wished i was smart. I know this is quite a ridiculous statement, but I’m completely serious when saying this. I’m not like an incredibly depressed person that dreads every day of their life. I do actually appreciate who i am, and i honestly wouldn’t change myself very much if i could go back in time and do so. I just think I’m not as academically smart as i want to be, and the most frustrating part of it is i actually desire academic intelligence. I have my entire life.
Starting from when i was in elementary school, i used to watch cartoons like Dexter’s Laboratory and Jimmy Neutron because the main characters were kid geniuses. Dexter had an entire science lab behind his book shelf in his bedroom that only he knew about it (and of course his sister). And after school he would go home, open up his lab by means of an eye scan, finger print scan or even the classic one where you pull on a specific book which pulls a lever behind the bookshelf. Whichever one he used, Dexter would then spend the rest of his day in his lab designing, creating and building his inventions. Every night i would go to bed, but for an hour before i fell asleep i would imagine my life with a laboratory in my room and a intellect that no one knew about, hoping that maybe later in life i will discoverer that my imagination could come close to reality.
On top of that, i have grown up with intelligent friends. All of them are academically successful people. They are the kind of people that have 4.0 or 3.9 GPAs and get 30s on their ACT scores and are able to store large amounts of random knowledge from life in their heads. I’m not saying that they are complete nerds, they just happen to be unbelievably successful at academic things. In fact, quite a few of them are very athletic. It’s because of my friends that i have a huge desire to be academically intelligent. Every day of my life i am intimidated by these kinds of people because during your youth, the majority of your life is spent doing school related things. Because of this, people judge you based on your academic success because there is nothing else to judge you on. So all my life I’ve lived with the thought in my head that i am pretty much worthless , i have no encouraging future and i will never be able to make anything of myself because school is life and I’m not good at it.
Between my childhood fantasies and the jealousy i have for my friends, i want to be intelligent. I want to be able to have the ability to do something incredible, something that people will respect and appreciate me for. Something that will help me bring out my imagination and bring me closer to my goals and dreams. And i want to be able to be confident with myself and my future without having to limit my aspirations because one part of me as a whole isn’t as acceptable as the rest.
You have a great intro. on a really gutsy topic here. I think it’s a good choice in that it shows your desire for school. However, consider adding a line or two that is a more positive plug for yourself as well. They’ll be able to see from your transcript that you actually are intelligent, but maybe include a little in here as well, stressing that it’s not enough, or something to that effect.
The essay certainly grabs the readers attention. “All my life I wished I was smart” is not normal. It’s usually, “I’m smart and here’s why”.
your personality seems to come through, I like how you used cartoons, it’s quite creative. I would however add how you improved yourself because of the jealously/childhood dreams. For instance, did your jealousy make you work hard to try and catch up with your friends?
grammar:
check verb tenses, make sure they are saying what you want them to say. there’s a big difference between “I wish I was smart” and “I wished I was smart”.
check comma usage, everybody messes this part up, so it’s best to double check it.
The thesis I got was “I wish that I was smarter”
Well organized, though i would delete “In fact, quite a few of them are very athletic.” because it’s completely off topic.
again, nice story with the cartoons and all.
you repeat words a lot, especially “actually”, possibly try to find synonyms.